They're everywhere!!!!!!!!

Babies that is.......I don't know if I can handle hearing that another friend is pregnant! In the last 2-3 weeks, I've had lets see.....(Susan, Karen, Michelle, Jennifer, Venessa) 5 friends deliver their babies and I'm waiting for 2 more to deliver...well one is due any time now and another is another 5 or so months. But its so hard....if I have to hear it one more time "relax and it'll happen naturally" I'm going to scream. Or here's one..."don't think about it....and it'll happen" ugh, if someone is desperate to be a mommy, you can't just NOT think about it.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm so very happy for my friends! I'm just feeling a little bit jealous! Why can't it be that easy for me? I just don't understand whats wrong with me...I feel like its a big joke that God is playing on me. I feel so incomplete and I AM so desperate to be a mommy. Daniel has been even having dreams of babies lately....I think men have "biological clocks" too. I think that its more difficult for me though! Sometimes the emotions are just so overwhelming, I don't know what to do anymore. I know that we're seeing a fertility specialist in September, but I want it now!!

I don't understand how all these horrible and unfit people get pregnant when someone sneezes around them. Or has abortion after abortion (my sister-n-law) and still is able to get pregnant and then she has the audacity to think, "ah, its just a baby, who cares" ITS NOT FAIR!!! I don't understand it....

I know that i"m ranting and I have a lot to be grateful for...i"m healthy, I have a job, I have a wonderful husband and 3 great pets that love me. There's just this small thing that i"m asking for.......I just wish it was easy to get......